Friday, 18 January 2008

Directors Zameen Par

Thot of writing few lines as its long time I penned any blog.Again I am in office on a saturday morning claiming to work but not having any intentions of doin so..

After along time watched a movie that kept me off sleep after RDB, Taare Zameen Par....fine example of what everyone longs for in life...'attention'..whatever be the age.....

Among all the reviews I read abt the movie..the below made me giggle the whole day and fwd it to everyone around me...

If Karan Johar made Taare •
Obvious starcast:
o Shah Rukh Khan as the arts teacher (duh duh duh!!).
o Aryan Khan as the dyslexic child (even if he could not act for nuts).
o Rani Mukerjee as the kid’s mom (assuming Kajol is unavailable).
o Abhishek Bachchan as the kid’s dad.
o Amitabh Bachchan as the school principal (who cares if the role is ultra minute, he can afford it).
o It would be shot in New York to appeal to the NRI audience.
o The story line would obviously be different. SRK would fall for the dyslexic kid’s mom. The last scene would have the mom running to the teacher rather than the kid. And again, like in so many other movies, SRK would get someone else’s girl.
o It would have one dance number.
o The film would be titled :Kuch Taare Zameen Par.

If Sanjay Leela Bhansali made Taare o
Obvious starcast:
o Salman as the teacher.
o Rani as the mother.
o Of course the whole film would be shot on elaborate sets. The school would be nothing short of Harvard university.
o An orchestra would play every time anyone cried.
o Slow motion, different camera angles for every scene.
o The school uniforms would match the classroom walls even though that does not make a difference.
o The film would cost 60 crores.

If Farah Khan made Taare o
Obvious starcast:
o SRK as the teacher (yawn).
o In the original Taare, Aamir makes an entry at the interval point. In Farah’s version, SRK would be on screen on for 2.30 hrs out of the 2.45 hrs and would be introduced in the first scene itself.
o The story would be changed to make sure the above happened. The focus of the film would be a teacher who helps a kid fight dyslexia.
o To make it a complete entertainer, there would be a romantic angle, comedy, and action thrown in. Oh idea!! Nikumbh’s character likes another teacher and the kiddo helps him.. throw in some comedy moments there and you have romance and comedy settled. For action.. hmm.. lemme see.. oh yah, the kid gets kidnapped and the teacher fights the baddies to save him. Wow!! I’m quite an imaginative writer. I can see how Farah can write a film from scratch in two weeks straight.
o The film posters would have a big SRK with the tiny image of the kid in the background.

If Rakesh Roshan made Taare
o Obvious starcast:
o Hrithik Roshan as the teacher.
o Since Rakesh Roshan cannot think beyond science fiction these days, this film would have that too. Instead of dyslexia, the kid would have alienositis or something, a condition induced due to him witnessing an alien abduction. o
Instead of Nikumbh being an arts teacher, he would be a physics teacher, and instead of asking kids to be creative, he would ask them to challenge the science we know. o In the scene where Nikumbh asks the kids to open their minds and make whatever they want outdoors, the kid Ishaan, instead of making a boat, would end up making a working spaceship prototype. o Nikumbh would cure the kids problem by making a full fledged version of the kid’s prototype, traveling to the alien planet, and asking them to give the kid his powers back.
o The film would have music by Rajesh Roshan ripped off from some world music.
o The film’s name would again start with a K.. probably :Kuch Aliens Taaron se Zameen Par. o The director would make sure Hrithik gets to show all his abilities. This would mean a scene with Roshan jr flexing his muscles, and a dance competition in the end, instead of an arts competition.

If Priyadarshan made Taare:
Obvious starcast:
 Akshay Kumar as the teacher.
 Paresh Rawal as the kid’s dad.
 It would be a brainless comedy. The kid’s dyslexia would be made fun of. Half the times the parents will be running after the kid from one room to the other and that, in the director’s opinion, would be funny.
 In the climax of the film all the characters in the film would run around in the amphitheater for no reason, spilling colors on each other. That’s where the film will end, without any logical conclusion.
 And of course, Paresh Rawal would emote like an epileptic himself making us question the boy’s mental abilities anyway.

Sunday, 29 July 2007

I am Tagged

I have been tagged by

The rules of the tag are:
1. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
2. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.
3. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

I bite nails very hard...sometimes blood oozes out..consciously tried many times to keep away from the habit..but in vain:(

I forget birthdays of friends most of the time...Everyone's except my parents and bro are in stored in birthday alarm:)

I learnt voilin for two years..I loved it that time..but never continued in college totally forgot!!!...only on ayutha pooja days it comes out of its case...

I love long hair..only on others..personally very lazy to maintain...

Never failed to read Shoba de's column whenever I catch hold of 'The Week'.It arouses the feminism in me.

I dont love sweets at all...except for Gulab Jaamun..and sometimes Krishna Sweets Mysoorpa...

I rode 14 kms(to & fro) by cycle ..everyday to school in my 11, 12th class....with 2 of my friends on both heriones in movies..:):)

Love Kadi Jokes..esp when seeing other person's reactions....recent one I enjoyed..'Ennatha naayukku naal call irunthaalum, oru missed call kudukka mudiyuma???...'..he..he..

P.S:Lots to go..but wanted to follow the tagging rules...but dunno whom to tag...i am very late to tagging i guess..

My Identity

Back Home!!! Home Sweet Home!!!

Yes, Dirty Roads, Hapless Traffic,Haphazard Driving,Near Zero Greenary,Litter allover,pollution and drainage overflowing.. so on and so forth.

Very much contrary to what I saw last one year- Clean roads, well maintained gardens and parks, regulated traffic, elite people..they may it High standard living...I call it boring and monotonous Life...

For the past 2-3 weeks after comign back, I might have got some 100 calls..visited more than 50 people...fought with my mom some 10 times...spent hours in canteen calling it short breaks....met all my relatives and good old friends...people and people everywhere....loved every moment...

Where was this me for one year???????..I might have got technically strong in my profession, earned lots in pounds..visited a number of european countries...but missed home!!! and of course friends!!!...felt like I was back to my happiness after an year of solitude..

Buzzing City....salty water....scortching heat...heavy traffic....seem to love all this a lot more than I did till now...This is me...My Identity:):)

P.S:when I am scribbling this....Ilaiyaraja's song 'Sorgame Enralum' passing thro my mind...

Thursday, 21 June 2007

Best Bits

I am so excited that I am going back home. Looking back this one year, here are some best experiences, might call it miniscule milestones as well :).

Know A-B-C of Backpacking.

Cook decent meals.

Pick good movies online.

Visit to my dream city of venice.

Understand Scottish accent.

Hattrick Europe Yatras.

Hiked 13 miles in 4.5 hrs.

Learnt Advanced Embroidery.

Posed for 100 odd single snaps in Amsterdam flower garden.

Going Green-Using Cycle to commute to Office.

Gallop Double Chocolate Muffins in no time.

Make snowman-Never seen snow before this:).

Caught by railway Police in Italy for having lost the ticket when there was less than an hour to catch flight to UK.

Seen Mini &Mickey in Disneyland.

Enjoyed Awesome View of Paris from Eiffel Tower.

Hated taking Support calls during Fun Trip.

Google Chat whole day in office - most of the days:)

List goes on.....On the whole it was an exciting leg of a journey called life:)

Sunday, 10 June 2007


Fact: I am true.
Gossip: I am the famous.

Fact: I am useful.
Gossip: I am Interesting.

F: I am good.
G: I am not always bad.

F: I make Journals and Publications.
G: I make Headlines and sell Magazines.

F:I am based on Science.
G: I am based on Character.

F:I am believed and Respected.
G:I am most sought after.

F:I am authenticated.
G:I need no Proof.

F: I am being learnt.
G: I am being talked about.

F:I note the speed of light.
G:I travel more than speed of light.

F:I make statistics
G:I make stories

F:I am never denied .
G:I am always welcomed .

F:I rule the mind.
G:I rule the tongue.

F:I am always remembered.
G: oops....I vanish with time.

Sunday, 3 June 2007

Slow Poison

I am getting increasingly annoyed at the reality shows broadcasted and the controversies they raise.

Either a set of people are held in a house for three weeks without any communication to outside world or sent to live in remote Island and filmed.There is a whirlpool of controversies surrounding each of this programme and morning newspapers craving for the headlines.

I dont understand what fun people get in watching such shows.Neither it is informative nor interesting.Its sheer bullying,biting the back, unneccesary arguments and raising the row of sensitive topics like racism,ethinicity and cultures.

Its very obvious that when 15 -20 people from different situations and different backgrounds meet there will be difference of opinions, likes and dislikes, grouping and clashes.Some funny people truly follow all the episodes and there is a awful lot of other programmes associated with it like psycologial ananlyzes of minds inside the house, best of the bits and other junks.

I used to feel the same for soaps back home, hour after hour of continous glycerine glory aimed at kindling emotions as though they were intended to empower women,but it was all crap and you can predict the plot of the story well before uptp 3-6months or somtimes the entire serial.

To my horror I find here some daily soaps have been there for more than 8-10 years , one of the few things that unite two generations who have otherwise grown a lot apart.

I feel movies are much better coz, even if its worse you just waste maximum of three hours.

Are we running short of ideas here or the media want us to become dumb heads rather than eggheads???

Friday, 1 June 2007

A Matter of Perspective

Few people carve a niche in what they do not because of just talent or ability many a times due to their character too.
I happened to read abt Thomas Edison recently, and this incident made a mark in my mind.

He was 67 yrs old and his youthful days of experiments and findings have passed by.His laboratorywas virtually destroyed in a big blaze and not much could be secured.His son franctically searched for him in the fire, but much to his suprise saw his father rather calmly admiring the fire.

Next morning when his workers were disgusted about the event,he consoled them saying, there is a great value in the disaster.'All our mistakes have been burnt up.We can start afresh now:)'.
A month or so later he delivered his first phonograph, the best of his achievements.

Well, it was another news to me that he was the first person to have a patent of about 1000 inventions, Not just electric bulb.When he was asked abt his experinece of inventing bulb he told, I' learnt 101 ways of how not to make a bulb'!!